i am part of the facebook world and what i have learned is:
that it makes me feel like i did in high school…i was never in the “popular” crowd or really any “clicks” for that matter. i had few to no friends. i was needy, insecure, and “weird.” i hated high school but it was the one place i could go and just be. as i got older and started healing, i realized i simply was trying to survive my childhood. but still i joined facebook and have reconnected with all these “friends” but can one have a meaningful friendship via facebook. because i still feel like the outsider looking in. that even here i do not belong. just like high school. it makes me ask what is so wrong with me? am i not someone you want to be friends with. am i that bad of a friend. so i have learned that facebook is just like high school all over again. doesn’t mean i will leave facebook, but maybe it means i should walk away from the computer and go outside into the world. maybe…
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Friday, February 13 2009 at 10:24 am
Jan
Dear sweet Jennifer, my heart hurts to read your words. I don’t know what happened but I will pray that you can start just looking forward and not backwards. A long time ago we had a poster in Jeff’s room that said “God doesn’t make garbage” because Jeff had self esteem issures due to his learning disabilities. I believe with all of my heart that you are a beautiful person and many people want to be your friend! I also know for sure that God never judges us by the sins that have been committed against us, we are only responsible for how we react and go on to live our own lives.
Gary had a troubled childhood and stressed over those issues for years, especially when it came to being a dad. Finally one day I said “Oh just put that behind you and YOU be the best darn dad you can be.” You know something – it really helped! And he is a good dad and a fantastic grandfather. Also a book called “Toxic Parents” was a real eye opener for him.
I’m still thinking of you as a little girl, one I’d like to gather in my arms and give a big hug and make your hurts go away. Looks like you have a wonderful husband and his family so I hope your wounds will heal and be gone for good!
And, I hope you don’t think I’m being too pushy to have written all of this, but I just felt compelled to leave a comment.