when the tears fall
Tim Hughes

I’ve had questions
Without answers
I’ve known sorrow
I have known pain
But there’s one thing
That I’ll cling to
You’re faithful
Jesus, You’re true

When hope is lost
I’ll call You Savior
When pain surrounds
I’ll call You Healer
When silence falls
You’ll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour
Of my sorrow
Through the darkest
Night of my soul
You surround me
And sustain me
My defender
Forever more

And I will praise You
I will praise You
When the tears fall
Still I will sing to You
I will praise You
Jesus, praise You
Through the suffering
Still I will sing

Silent All These Years
Tori Amos

Excuse me but can I be you for a while
My dog won’t bite if you sit real still
I got the anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin’ at me again
Yeah I can hear that
Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know
But nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me
You never shut-up
Yeah I can hear that

But what if I’m a mermaid
In these jeans of his
With her name still on it
Hey but I don’t care
Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it’s been here
Silent All These Years

So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What’s so amazing about really deep thoughts
Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon
How’s that thought for you
My scream got lost in a paper cup
You think there’s a heaven
Where some screams have gone
I got 25 bucks and a cracker
Do you think it’s enough
To get us there

Cause what if I’m a mermaid
In these jeans of his
With her name still on it
Hey but I don’t care
Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it’s been here
Silent All These…

Years go by
Will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by
If I’m stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds
Raining in head
Years go by
Will I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left
One more casualty
You know we’re too easy Easy Easy

Well I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let’s hear what you think of me now
But baby don’t look up
The sky is falling
Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
It’s your turn now to stand where I stand
Everybody lookin’ at you here
Take hold of my hand
Yeah I can hear them

But what if I’m a mermaid
In these jeans of his
With her name still on it
Hey but I don’t care
Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice

And it’s been here
Silent All These Years
I’ve been here
Silent All These Years

roses

i am part of the facebook world and what i have learned is:

that it makes me feel like i did in high school…i was never in the “popular” crowd or really any “clicks” for that matter. i had few to no friends. i was needy, insecure, and “weird.” i hated high school but it was the one place i could go and just be. as i got older and started healing, i realized i simply was trying to survive my childhood. but still i joined facebook and have reconnected with all these “friends” but can one have a meaningful friendship via facebook. because i still feel like the outsider looking in. that even here i do not belong. just like high school. it makes me ask what is so wrong with me? am i not someone you want to be friends with. am i that bad of a friend. so i have learned that facebook is just like high school all over again. doesn’t mean i will leave facebook, but maybe it means i should walk away from the computer and go outside into the world. maybe…

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
My eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Church isn’t where you meet. Church isn’t a building.
Church is what you do. Church is who you are.
Church is the human outworking of the person of Jesus Christ.
Let’s not go to Church, let’s be the Church.

Bridget Willard

Photobucket

I found this meme while surfing the net and thought it would be fun to do. So… The rules are simple. Image Search the answers to the questions below. Then choose a picture in the first page of results, and post it as your answer.

1. age at next birthday:
1

2. a place i’d like to travel to:
2

3. my favorite place:
3

4. my favorite object:
Photobucket

5. my favorite food:
5

6. my favorite animal:
6

7. my favorite color:
7

8. city i was born in:
8

9. city i live in now:
9

10. name of childhood pet:
10

11. name of past lover:
11

12. best friend’s nickname:
12. Boo

13. my nickname:
13

14. my first name:
Photobucket

15. my middle name:
Photobucket

16. my last name:
Photobucket

17. my bad habit:
17

18. my first job:
18

19. name of grandmother:
19

20. college major:
20

i promised my friend (and one of my only readers) that i would blog, but i have so much inside me… i need more time to process.. so hang in there.

blessings to those who do stop by.

purple heart

“We can all be angels to one another. We can choose to obey the still small stirring within, the little whisper that says, ‘Go. Ask. Reach out. Be an answer to someone’s plea. You have a part to play. Have faith.’ We can decide to risk that He is indeed there, watching, caring, cherishing us as we love and accept love. The world will be a better place for it. And wherever they are, the angels will dance.”

-Joan Wester Anderson

today i feel on the brink of tears. and i do not know why. i hate these kind of days. when you know you have so much you could be doing. instead you wander the house aimlessly…staring off into nowhere. wondering why do these days exist. it’s as if your soul is empty. but you do not know why.

Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)

and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

Chronicle

December 2009
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